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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Jun 29, 2009 23:09:10 GMT -5
He sat alone. Alone, like the many nights he had spent of late. The summer wind, chilled from the cover of darkness, stung his skin as it pulled and tussled his white mane, whipping it into sharp angles and edges. His dead eyes threatened to tear with the chill, but he blinked the feeling away. The rock was cold beneath his feet and wet upon his claws, it matched the mood of the night as well as his own. It was the night following a storm, when all the warmth and heat of the bright summer was swept away with the fierce winds and rains, leaving the night to feel like a lone winter in the midst of the hot season. And he sat alone, like a lone white winter, at the peak of the falls, overseeing his steady lose of power of the realm below. Although the land had never once been claimed as his, looking over it and seeing to every soul that ventured across it (whether they knew it or not) led him into the feeling that perhaps it was his…just as she could have been. But the entire time, he had been steadily loosing control…control, which he now thought might have only been an illusion before. And now, he had no land…no control…and no her…he sat...alone.
If they had not been pinned to his skull, his ears would have flicked forward, then back, as they always did when he was left to his thoughts. But in the mass turmoil between his thoughts and feelings, they lay flat, giving his skull a streamline depiction against his mountainous surroundings. He had left, but only because he had no choice. The damn voice, and the damn feelings…and his damn heart…how could he have stayed? There were no reasons for him too, and that was as plain as his lifeless eyes. Foremost, there was too much of a population accumulating for him to stay. If something, anything, were to happen, especially with his lack of control…he wanted not to hurt any innocent soul. Besides, the new leader had claimed her position well. Whoever she was (for he cared not of her name) she would care for the lands…and for the betess within them. The other reasons, of course, were that he was most unpleasant, and he knew it. How the land’s betess had tolerated him for so long in the past was beyond him…though he supposed it was pure aloneness that drove her to seek out him for companionship. He could not blame her…loneliness was a deadly disease. He would know…he was dead inside. And he could be nothing but dead if he were to remain in control. That’s what it all came down to…which side of him was in control…which side of him held the power. He questioned himself though, if control were to be firm in his grasp…would he have stayed?
He supposed not. He was not needed. The betess here now had the companionship she longed for, and this companionship could yip and jump with joy, wag its tail and bounce its ears and voice just as she could. No, he was not needed. At least he had proved her wrong; there was no curse to her as she had pupishly feared. How she could even fathom such a thing was a mystery to him. There was nothing unholy about her, though he could say nothing about her being bewitching. He had lost count of the times that her features, her voice, or even merely her presence had caused him to slip upon his concentration, and show emotion or instinct. And those were the causes of his lose of control. He could let no natural emotion or instinct slip through his mental barrier, for that would reveal his heart. And his heart was what he fought for control over. It was the reason for his dead eyes, his cold voice, his carelessness…and his loneliness. He had lost his life to it, his family, his future…and her. Though she had never been his…it had nearly seemed like it…nearly felt like it…but she would never be his, as long as his lungs demanded air, and his heart held its wicked cadence…she would never be his.
So he had left her, her and her land, to be better off with this new life. And he had left no trace, as he never did. His steps were always silent, and his dark soul rotted the scent from the air so none could follow. He had left, left the waterfall pack and the waterfall lands, wandered far and alone, causing none grief but himself; justifying nature that way. He had left the betess to her new life, one of emotions and smiles, one that he could never give. Left the land to a new rule, one that would nurture and care, like he never could. He had left…and now he was back…and he sat alone. [/size]
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Jun 29, 2009 23:30:19 GMT -5
She had been surrounded by so many new wolves, though there still seemed to be an emptiness inside her that couldn't be filled. She knew well what this emptiness was... it was the empty bed of moss beside her area in the den... it was the mysterious looks and questions that rose in her mind... it was the white fur that so easily matched her own... it was him... the one whom she had never felt such strong and enamored feelings for before... and he was gone. She often sat alone in the den, never sleeping and listening to the sounds of her new packmates, making their way through the dream realm.. she didn't dream... she hardly ate... she rarely had the life in her eyes that she once carried when he was around.
Sighing to herself at yet another sleepless night, she padded outside the den and flicked her tail. She didn't even have the energy or the life to burst through the waterfall like she often did when he was around. No, she took the path... silently and with her head hung low. She tread to the end of it and moved to the boulder she so often sat upon while deep in thought and wondering. Silently, she climbed upon it and rested her flank on its cool surface. She turned her sapphire eyes, eyes that once held so much life and love, now just an echo of what they once were, and gazed out over the vast water that the cascading waterfall fell into.
She looked from the ripples on the surface to the sky above and back. Her white pelt a ghostly form upon the boulder and her large, golden and white wings were folded to her sides gently. She missed him... and she would even venture to say she loved him, but she had never truly been in love, so she wasn't quite sure about it. All she knew was that he was there one day, then the next, he disappeared without a trace.
Sure, she had gone looking for him... it was one of the main reason she scouted the lands so often... she wasn't truly looking for loners to help out.. she was seeking him out.. his company, his touch and his smell... something about him drew her closer to him and she wondered if she would ever find him again. Her mind was swimming with more and more thoughts with each passing moment. He said he would be there for her... said that he wouldn't let anything happen to her.. now those thoughts were returning. Her sense of security when having him around had faded, especially with the thought of Lucid, her brother, drawing nearer and nearer to her resting place.
Haven had been a nice addition, but it didn't help with her worries. What if Lucid were sending spies? One of his other two children to seek out and scout the lands of the other wolves for a potential hostile takeover? She wasn't sure she could handle such things, especially with a niece or a nephew. She whimpered slightly, just loud enough for her to hear, and sighed to herself. Though she had so much company around her, she was utterly alone without him.
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Jun 30, 2009 0:00:32 GMT -5
His lungs filled with low shallow breaths…the mere sight of her…
He rose from his stony perch, and though she lay so far below, there was no hint of doubt that it was her. Hesitantly, he took a silent step back, his dead eyes never leaving her white and gold form, lying so still upon her sunning rock. He had left for a reason, he had fled to protect her (he seemed to suddenly forget about all the others) to protect her from him. He blinked slowly, curious to see if it was a lowly trick of the mind, but as his lids opened, she remained. Slowly, her scent rose with the mists of the falls. It seemed to physically warm all his senses as it danced about and teased him. Painfully, he suppressed a snarl. And though it was her that he had longed for so deeply, as he looked down to her, a cold scowl was all he could allow. And even if her beautiful eyes were right before him, staring at him, pleading for something more…a cold scowl was all he could ever give her…and that was why he had left.
He could never give her what she needed, what she deserved. As happy and beautiful as she was, how could he even offer her his cold and uncaring heart, and his ragged and ghostly appearance? She deserved what she had now, a sturdy leader and pack mates to hunt and sleep with. Pack mates whose eyes held life and light, whose voices held happy and sad…pack mates whose hearts held laughter and joy. He could offer none of the comforts that any mere mortal deserved, let alone her. With this new life she could find someone to smile and laugh with her, someone with eyes as lit as her and a heart to offer. He couldn’t offer her his heart…he had sold it with his soul.
The ghostly male turned with silent steps away from the ledge, away from her, and though his paws carried with them an unearthly silence, their was no stopping the loose rocks upon the ledge to succumb to gravity far below. He froze, holding his breath, his ears now erect, his white face smoothed in a cold frown. The dull thunks from the falling rocks echoed from below. He silently prayed that they found the dark depths of the water and not the shore next to whom he was just spying on. If they fell in the water, the splash would be lost within the hum of the falls, but if they fell to the shore, they would certainly be noticed…and he had left for a reason…
The silences between the thunks of the rocks seemed to last countless heartbeats as he waited for his fate. Should he go undetected, he supposed he would just carry on his way with a breath of silent relief, for he would have spared her the conflict of finding him lurking above her…but should she find him – the loud thump of the rocks contacting with the shore and rolling over to her sunning rock echoed up to his pale ears from far below. He took a deep breath, flexing the muscles within his jaw and talons in anger for his carelessness. He had left for a reason…and he had just ruined it.
Not staying to even risk a confrontation at her expense, he began running. [/size]
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Jun 30, 2009 0:12:46 GMT -5
She had been very deep in thought, wondering what had happened to him.. her mind wandering to the warmth that he had provided for her throughout the winter and throughout the would be lonely nights in the den area before all the other wolves made their way to the lands. She had been thinking of the looks in his eyes, how they seemed so dead, but would hold a spark once and a while.. how she would say something and think she angered him, but he would still stick around... he would comfort her and told her that he would protect her from the evil that dwelled within the mountains... he had seen her cower at the very sound of her brothers name... why had he left her to deal with him on her own?
She continued thinking these thoughts, a simple sigh escaping her maw every once and a while. She looked around, taking in the terrain around her and once again resting her eyes on the falls. Oh, how beautiful they were... well, used to be... to her, before he left. She sighed again and was about to be lost into more thought when a sound caught her attention. Stones fell from high up and rolled to her perch. She looked at the stone for a minute and followed the path it had taken. Looking high up on the waterfall, she noticed a faint, white form. Her heart skipped a beat for a second as she quickly stood and ran toward it, hoping to keep track of it... longing for it to not be yet another trick of her mind.
She ran forward, forgetting for a while that she had wings. Once she realized her running was too slow, she spread her wings and took to the sky to catch up to the ghostly shape she had seen and longed for it not to be a dream. She flew as fast as she could, catching the sight of the wolf before landing. She was out of breath, panting, but she didn't give up. She was determined to find the wolf that had caused the stir, if only to prove to her mind and to herself that she wasn't going crazy by seeing things she longed for.
Upon landing, she lost sight of him for a brief moment.. slowly padding forward, she lifted her nose to the air. SHe didn't care what lands she had to tread upon to follow this wolf... she wanted to know if it was him and if the butterflies that she felt in her stomach and in her heart were real or all for naught. She padded forward, nose in the air, ears wide and eyes searching, longing to find a trace of the ghostly form that had captivated her attention and made her go on this chase for what she hoped would be truth and love... and above all... her hope of his return.
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Jun 30, 2009 0:27:08 GMT -5
He would not stop, it was not an option. If it had been, he wouldn’t have run in the first place. She could not find him, he would not allow it! She was happy now, safe from his cold stares and harsh voice, safe from his careless nature and shadowed heart. And she was safe from him physically as well, with distance between them, he could not harm her, not with any amount of slip ups he experienced. She had to be safe, and he had to keep her that way…he left for a reason.
His paws kept silent as they sparsely touched the ground in his heavy sprint, but he was too concerned with placing distance between him and her to silent his movement completely. There was no crashing through the brush as he fled, but his spiky fur rustled bare bush branches, and summer ferns that flourished from the recent rainstorm. He could silence his escape and slink into the shadows without sound, but his scent would linger if she were to get close. Besides, he observed that he always knew when she was near, as if he could sense her presence and her’s alone; whether or not she held the same case he was unsure. Distance was his priority, she could not find him. He would not put her through confronting him, and unburying lost memories to disrupt her lighter life now. [/size]
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Jun 30, 2009 1:00:25 GMT -5
She closed her eyes and listened, her nose to the air to drink in the scents around her. For one faint moment, she had thought she lost him, but a soft rustle caught her audits and she snapped her head in that direction. Instantly, her paws were in motion again, in her trek to find the brute who had captured her heart. She wouldn't give up.. she would chase this dream or reality to the ends of the earth if she had to in order to prove to herself and to her mind that she wasn't crazy... she only hoped this wasn't a dream... that he was really near and had finally returned to her... so she could be at home again.
She ran as fast as her paws would carry her, her instincts playing a large role in her search for him and for his scent and form. Once or twice, she thought she saw a glimpse of his white pelt, but only found it to be gone the next. It was as if he was trying to avoid her... but why? What had she done to make him avoid her so? She wondered this and her steps faltered for a moment. For a moment, she lost her usual grace and stumbled a few wolf-lengths, but she never fell. Instantly, she regained her step and ran forward, continuing her search.
Something told her that she was on the right track.. something was pulling her toward a destination that she only hoped she would reach before she passed out from lack of oxygen through this chase. She wasn't used to running so much, but at the moment, she would run forever if it meant she could just hear his voice again, if she could only just have the touch of his fur against hers again. Even if only for a moment.
Her heart raced and her mind was full of joy and sorrow. She longed to be able to be next to him again, to rest her heart and her mind... to feel as if she had a security that disappeared just as quickly as he did. All she wanted was his companionship... she would give up everything if she could just spend the rest of her life with him.
Onward she moved, her wings held tightly to her sides. Tree trunks and vines caught her fur, causing her to slow her pace once and a while, but not for long. Brambles and thorns, burs and dirt.. all became caked in her lower part of her fur as she raced onward to find him and hopefully put an end to her suffering once and for all. Her paws had begun to get very sore and it felt like there were thorns in one of them, but she ignored them. Her current mission was more important.
Finally, she caught the scent and saw his form ahead of her. She wasn't dreaming! She called out, hoping to stall him and to find out what had happened once and for all. "Baztek!!!" [/b] her voice was pleading... hoping... begging him to stop and to turn to face her again so she could be in his presence again. Something made her continue running after him... something told her that he wasn't going to stop... something made her want to make him stop, no matter what the cost. She pondered for a moment, continuing to follow his fading trail, then took to the sky in a few endless bounds. What would she do? Would she land in front of him and hope he stopped? What if she stood too close to an edge of a cliff and pretended to fall... so many possibilities to try to get him to realize she was there once more and to try to get him to take heed of her... but which one? She decided she would try the first option first... She flew faster, catching up to him and then passing him, only to get far enough ahead to turn around and land in front of him... almost too close for him to make a change of direction and hardly giving enough time to react to a white wolf landing in front of him... it was either attempt to stop and barely bump into her... or keep going and bowl her completely over... it was up to him. She knew that the latter choice would be much more painful, but if he truly cared for her in the way that she hoped he did, he would choose the less painful route. Upon her landing, she spoke once more, her voice continuing to hold the pleading tone. "The least you can do is talk to me..."[/b] Her eyes had no spark of life to them... only loneliness and sorrow... they held within them the longing and hope that he would once again grace her with his presence... and that she had all but died inside when he left. Most of all, her eyes showed undying love for him and the pain it caused to ever think of the thought of losing him.[/blockquote]
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Aug 18, 2009 15:52:01 GMT -5
His cold eyes took her in. Muddied, battered and bruised from her chase, she stilled held her unearthly beauty within her form. Baztek licked his fangs without parting his lips. He had never dared dream that he would see her so close once again. A snarl rumbled within his chest. How could he have made such a careless mistake? And at what expense? This one here, standing before him, with her lonely, pained eyes. Damn him for what little he was worth. With his yearning to catch a glimpse of her, he had spoiled his plan to erase himself from her memory. One slip that was all it had taken. And now she stood before him. Baztek would have to start all over again.
He had skidded to a halt as she dropped from the sky before him. The joints of his paws ached from their misuse, and the pads upon his feet burned with his torn skin. But Masina’s glance cast an even hotter flame through his mind. It was as if he was gazing at a murky reflection of himself. Her eyes…held no light. Baztek’s mind tore into pieces with what he saw before him. How could he have done this to her? He was sure now, that this would be the end of it. His ears pinned themselves to his skull in a defensive movement. His cold eyes left hers as he fluidly side-stepped her ragged form. ”There is nothing to say.”
He would push her away; force her to believe what had to be the truth. That she did not love him, could not love him. And even if she remained unconvinced, he would make her see that now others lived within her lands, she could let him leave. He was, after all, breaking no promise. He swore she would not be alone, and without him (especially without him) she wouldn’t be.
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Aug 18, 2009 23:24:03 GMT -5
Masina panted, looking at the white wolf before her. So little had changed about him... and this gave her a small inkling of hope. Could things return to how they were? Would he stay this time, instead of leaving and allowing her already fragile heart to tear to pieces once again? Perhaps to never mend again? She couldn't risk it. She would do whatever it took to keep him by her side, even if she had to threaten her very life.
"You can't leave. Please, Baztek..." [/b] Tears filled her eyes as her voice was quiet and almost defeated. She wouldn't let him walk away so easily... not this time. So long as they both lived, she would fight to keep him by her side. "Come... please, just stay with me. I'll leave the packlands and it can be just you and me... if that's what you want. I'll do anything... please, just don't leave me... again..."[/b] She whimpered, allowing the tears that were filling her ice blue eyes to fall down her cheeks. Her wings were disheveled and laying down her sides, dragging on the ground. She bowed her head, her ears laying back, flat against her head. He made a movement to side step her, and she almost allowed him, but quickly tensed her muscles and moved in front of him once again. "The least you could do is talk to me... There is always something to say. You came here, kept me company... You promised to stay by my side until others came along. Well, now others have come along... but you had left before they came... Baztek, please."[/b] She looked at him, hope and despair both in her facial expression and eyes. She didn't know what it would take, but she would find a way to convince him... to make him see... how much she wanted him to stay. "Why do you have to leave? Now that I know you're still alive and that you are real... I can't handle losing you again..." She looked him dead in the eyes, pleading for him to stay and for him not to leave again and leave her once more, heartbroken.[/blockquote]
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Nov 11, 2009 0:45:50 GMT -5
He studied her as she spoke, watching the folds of her lips crease and stretch with ever word she whispered. Thick brows furrowed together above his dead eyes. Alone? She doubted him that much to see it as him breaking his promise. Dead and heartless he may be, but his word was his bond, the only tie in existence he felt he still had with the mortal world and all its misplaced emotions. The fact that she had taken it lightly enough to view his absence as a fracture of his word…it disappointed him. Yes he had left, but only after he had sensed the others coming. And though he knew she would be devastated when he left her alone, he had calculated that her loneliness would cause her to bond quicker with the newcomers to the pack, and thus forget him entirely. The reason she still clung to what should have only been ghostly memories of a dead-hearted loner eluded him. Her, now, surrounded by a bounty of pack members, those for her to care for, those who actually held the capacity to care back. He could not give that to her. Why could she not see this?
Baztek stood in silence, watching her tears slowly snake through her smooth fur before falling to the ground and disappearing into the thirsty soil. ”…alone?…” His coarse voice felt as a demon’s caress as he whispered. ”I’d much prefer you to despise me, to loathe and find disgust with me, than to look down upon my word with such distrust. Promises are all I can give you, Masina, and on your life I would not break them. You were never alone. I knew long before you that others were coming, betters than me. And even when before they arrived here, you failed to see that the shadows watched over you as I hid within them. Do not patronize me, Masina. My word is all I can give, and I would sooner burn than take it back. And now that you are no longer alone, and in no need of my presence, my promise to you has been fulfilled. And you are in no longer need of me for protection or any other form of ‘creature comfort’.” His tail flicked behind him as his words ended. Cold amber eyes never left her crystal blue’s, never showing doubt, or fear, not revealing compassion or sorrow.
His ears ticked as he looked away from her with an angry snap of his neck. Baztek stepped around her after what seemed to be a moment of hesitation. He moved quickly so that she had no chance to react and childishly stop him. ”And Masina,” he whispered again as his shoulder slightly brushed her’s as he passed. ”You cannot handle loosing me, because you will not let yourself.” Please Masina, please…just let me go.
[/blockquote] Reason for Editing: needed perfection *rawr* :]
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Nov 11, 2009 1:28:55 GMT -5
She sighed, a flicker of hope flashing through her blue eyes, before disappearing just as quickly as it came. His words stung her already beaten and broken heart, yet she still looked at him with the hope that he would stay. Despise him? She could not.. would not ever do such a thing. She knew, deep in her heart, that she loved him, and even if he didn't show the same love back... or couldn't... she didn't care. She would go to the ends of the earth for him if thats what it took to keep him by her side, and she would find some way to prove it.
"I did not mean to doubt your word... I merely was stating that I would prefer your company over the rest of the packs. I would do anything for you, Baztek... if it were to keep you by my side. I may be young, but I am older beyond my years and know enough about my own emotions and how they work... and I know enough to say that I love you... and that I can't live without you." [/b] She looked into his eyes as she said this, hoping that this would stir something, even if it was just a flicker of a ghost... something... just to show her that he heard her words and reconsidered his decision. He spoke some more, and she let him speak, taking every word to memory and every word to heart, not knowing if this would be the last time they would speak. She wanted to cherish what moments they were having, even if they weren't exactly the happiest she had ever experienced... at least she could have something to look back on, should this be the last time she would ever hear his voice or see him... aside from the ghostly memories that she knew she would have... the tricks and deceit that her mind would place upon her, making her think that every rustle and noise coming from the shadows was him. She knew that she would have to live with this, no matter what way todays events went... she only hoped they fell more favorably in the direction she wished them to, rather than the one he wished. "I may have a pack surrounding me that will be there for me... that might even love me, but I don't care. I would give up everything, if only you would stay by my side. Perhaps I won't let myself handle losing you because I would rather die than do so..."[/b] She looked at him, not moving to stand in front of him again. She was slowly feeling defeated, realizing that she couldn't do anything to keep him here against his will, not that she would want to... it was not in her nature... but it was in her nature to love him and to wish for him to stay, to hold that one little aspect of her life selfishly to herself... and Masina wasn't one to be selfish. He side-stepped her and brushed his shoulder against hers ever so slightly, and she closed her eyes, memorizing the moment. She sighed slightly, tears filling her eyes. Her voice, however, remained steady and calm as she spoke. "If you think leaving is the best thing, then go... I won't follow... I won't do anything... except for watch you fade into the shadows and become but a ghost of my past... I'll live my days out, wondering what could have been had you stayed... hoping that every rustle I hear, every twig that snaps... that it is you, returning to me. I will never give up hope that you will someday return to me. I can only hope, because hope is all I'll have left if you walk away... I may be surrounded by other wolves, but I will still be lonely... Your company is the one that I desire above all others. I would do anything if it would allow you to stay with me." She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment and allowing the tears that had filled them to fall down her cheeks and into the grass below. She sighed, bowing her head slightly and looking more defeated than ever, her hears back and tail limp. She lay down, looking what some would say was pathetic, as she rested her head upon her delicate paws and looked at him, showing him that she was going to hold true to her word and not follow him. She wasn't sure how long she would sit like that, either... if he left... she wasn't sure what she would or could do... she only hoped that he would realize how much he meant to her and how much she hoped he would stay. Word Count - 813 Muse - Sprung back to life and ready to run herself dry. Masina - Very emo.... o0 [/blockquote]
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Nov 11, 2009 1:53:25 GMT -5
Baztek halted in his tracks. Her words, they bit, they stung at his mind, the long lost memory or guilt arose in his thoughts. The foolish fae…could she not see that anything she gave to him, affection, care, would only be a lie if he were to give it back. He could not care; he could not give comfort or support. True he could physically touch her and speak sweet words to her, but that’s all it would ever be. Beneath the surface of his actions would be lies, an act. A touch would only be a touch, nothing more, and words would only be spoken sentiments, no feelings or emotions could come from his heart. The only thing he could give her were material things. His maw curled into a furious scowl as he heard her lay behind him, apparently too ”spent” of her emotions to even stand. She could not love him, and he knew this. He cursed himself for letting this young fae become infatuated with him. He had known better than to stay when she had asked. A slow growl rumbled in the back of his throat. Wise beyond her years…FEH! She was nothing more than infatuated with him. Love him? She knew nothing of him.
He turned to look at her, eyes narrowed into an angry snarl, devoid of any color they held before. They seemed black beneath the deep shadow of his brow. Foolish girl… ”Love me?!” His whisper was gone, the words were not a question, but more of a mocking accusation. ”I have given you nothing but a mere promise, which I have fulfilled. Your emotions, your ”feelings”, are unrequited. And even if I were to return them, it would be a lie. Are you so in love with me that you are willing to submit yourself to accepting lies from strangers?” He continued before she could speak up. ”Yes, I am a stranger, Masina. You know nothing of me, how I think, what I feel, what I have done…” His harsh words trailed off suddenly as his snarl gave way to the blank face that was his default. Slowly the color seemed to return into his eyes, though no life was held within them.
”Masina,” His voice was still harsh and mocking, though his maw blank and dead. ”You can not love me.” [/blockquote]
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Nov 11, 2009 2:11:48 GMT -5
What little hope she had quickly dissipated with his next words. They bit into her, tearing her fragile heart into small pieces. She flinched at his anger, but didn't move otherwise. She just sat, still and empty, watching him. Her eyes grew distant as her soul shattered inside.
She waited for him to finish... and even paused before she spoke, to assure him that she was listening and that she was not going to interrupt him. When she found that she could speak, her voice was barely above a whisper, soft enough to show the pain, yet hide all other emotion. "I know nothing of you because you will not let me know anything of you. Here I lie, before you. You say I know nothing of you? What exactly do you know of me? I may have told you of my past... but that was because I was trying to let you in... to show you that I cared... to show you that I trust you. I have not spoken a word of my past to anyone... aside from you. And here you are, before me... tearing me down and crushing every hope that I had held close. Congrats, Baztek... you have won... I will let you leave... leave me here broken into a million fragments of what will now be the empty shell... Is this what you wanted?" [/b] As she spoke, her voice grew void of all emotion and she raised her head ever so slightly to look at him. She had finally given up, and it was obvious through her posture, through her words... her eyes expressed nothing but a growing empty void. "You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do. I can and do love you, whether you want to accept that or not. No matter how many times you put me down or attempt to crush my spirits, that aspect of me will not change. I love you..."[/b] She looked at him, this time with a flicker of determination in her eyes. She meant what she said, even if he didn't want to believe it... She had never felt this strongly toward anyone or anything... and she had to hold it within herself to believe that she was in love with him. Sure, he may show no emotion to her, but that didn't matter to her. "I don't care if its a lie... I know, somewhere deep inside yourself, there's something that holds itself to me... something that keeps you connected to me... and it is that last thing that is going to keep me holding on... hoping, even if you shatter every aspect of my being... that single hope that you will come back to me is all I have left."[/b] She looked at him, her eyes holding a faint glow of hope to them, though it seemed almost overshadowed by everything else. "Do what you will. Say what you must... but know that I will not give up hope... I know that somewhere, deep inside yourself, there is one sliver of... something... whatever it may be... that holds you to me... and it is that sliver that I will cling to, even if it kills me."[/b] Her eyes locked with his, holding his gaze for a few moments, as she raised her head, willing her words to sway him... to hold him to her and for something to show behind his blank exterior. She waited, holding to her hope as if her life depended on it. Word Count - 593 Muse - She's talking in circles... Masina - Heartbroken, yet determined... and maybe even becoming a little selfish by attempting to pull some guilt cards... or grasping for straws.... not sure which yet. [/blockquote]
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Nov 11, 2009 2:30:50 GMT -5
…foolish girl. To think that she would be content with, willing even, to allow herself to feel this way for someone who could give her nothing, show her nothing, not even care for her in all honesty. Did she not realize that it was not him that was responsible for tearing her down, but herself! Baztek’s thoughts raced, his anger rising with them. His mind felt like a whelp that had bit down on its tail and was determined to catch the rest. How could she be willing to place herself through this torment, through…misery even? He growled, shutting his eyes tight and shaking his head, attempting to rid his thoughts of her as she lay before him. Foolish girl. Even her attempt at prying his ‘should-be’ guilty conscious could not work. Didn’t she understand by now that he felt nothing. Not even guilt or remorse for thrusting the harsh reality of what was upon her. Her tears meant nothing to him, neither did her sadness or fear…and especially not her love.
His right ear ticked as he thought. He could not leave her like this, in this distraught state she would not move if it were to rain, not even if her hunger commanded her. He frowned again. Perhaps his cursed life void of feeling was not as torturous as he had lived to believe. She was a prime example of what such things did to souls. Because she could not let go of how she felt, she was teary herself apart. Baztek had nothing to do with it. And he figured, sense emotions are so easily played, perhaps bringing her to see the truth wouldn’t be so difficult at all. She wanted to know of him…then he would give her what she wanted.
He let silence pervade over both of them as he bored holes in the back of her head with his dead glare. He would scare her out of loving him. He would show to her the blood of the innocent that stained his damned soul. His rough voice appointed a more gentle tone, as he adopted whispering once more to help her understand how she could not love him. ”Masina,” Pausing, he made sure that she absorbed his changed tone and meaning. ”Does Lucid scare you?” [/blockquote]
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Nov 11, 2009 22:06:59 GMT -5
Masina watched his posture, his movements. She took in his body language and the sudden change in his outward emotions. Constantly, he would say he could show no emotion, though on many times, he obviously showed anger and frustration, so if he was able to show these emotions, why not others? Masina thought these thoughts as she watched him and listened to his words. She wouldn't bring them up... not yet. She wanted to wait... at least he wasn't leaving. Somehow he was staying, just by her words, and that was enough for her at the moment.
When he spoke of Lucid, a shudder ran through her body. She took a soft breath in and looked him dead in the eyes. "We've been over this, love. Lucid is a vile creature, though I still believe there is some ounce of good in him, just as I believe there is some ounce of good in you, whether or not you want to believe it or not... or even accept it. Yes, Lucid scares me... beyond anything else imaginable, but everyone has the capacity to change, and I believe that under the right circumstances, Lucid could change too. I know that I'll have to face him someday... and when that day comes, I can only hope that I am ready... I know that there is a better chance of that if you are by my side. Somehow, you give me strength." [/b] She was fighting to hold back how much Lucid actually scared her. She wasn't sure that even Baztek's presence would help her face him, but some of her words were true... if not all of them. Masina believed there was good in everyone, and she would always attempt to find that good, no matter what it took. She sighed to herself, glancing away from Baztek for a short moment to gather her thoughts, before turning her gaze toward his again. At least he wasn't sounding angry anymore... at least he was attempting to be civil. Masina wasn't sure how much more of his pushing her away she could have taken before she snapped. Attempting a smile, she gazed into her eyes, life slowly returning to them just as his tone changed from angry and fierce to a calmer, though seemingly lifeless tone. It was much better, in her mind. Word Count - 399 Muse - Daydreaming... Masina - Kind of jumping back and forth and getting a bit of whiplash from Baztek's mood swings. [/blockquote]
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Nov 11, 2009 22:22:39 GMT -5
He didn’t return her smile. She had to come to understand that he never would. ”Good within all?” The volume of his voice was the same, barely a whisper, but the three words he uttered dripped with malice and sarcasm. ”Lucid slaughtered your family. Bled both your mother and your father to death before you eyes.” He paused, allowing time for the memories to snake to the surface within her mind. ”All your siblings, friends, acquaintances, and perhaps even enemies from your past are rotting because of him. And you see good in him, Masina. And if he were to change, where would it occur? As vile as he may be, you see the possibility of change, but where, Masina?” It was not a question, but a demand for an answer. If she could see change, what would it be within, her brother’s heart or her brother’s soul?
Though his face blank, and his stare endless, Baztek’s senses were more alert than he could ever remember them. The air surrounded him with Masina’s fear at the topic of her brother and his past deeds. Baztek licked the roof of his mouth through a closed maw. Her fear was delectable…a delicacy that only a damned soul, tormented with a demonic heart would appreciate. He felt a churning within his chest, a movement slithering inside the very core of him. The blackness wanted her fear, the darkness yearned to catch it, to twist and tie it, mold it into whatever he could. Baztek relinquished partial control, letting his dark heart meld with his isolated mind. Her fear tasted delicious to them. And they would make her taste it.
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Nov 11, 2009 22:57:34 GMT -5
Masina listened to his words. She didn't expect a smile to be returned to her... she couldn't remember if she had ever seen Baztek smile, but that didn't matter much to her. He was here, in her presence, and that was what mattered most to her at the moment. She raised her body more, allowing her form to lay delicately on the earth beneath her. Her head was held high, much like a Betess would hold herself, and her hopelessness seemed to be ebbing away, filling with fear at the very thoughts that Baztek was raising within her mind.
She wanted to fight against them... she had to, but the very thoughts, images and emotions that were stirring inside her from her puphood were yearning to take hold of her body, mind and soul and to tear her to pieces, frightening her and dragging her down. She didn't want that and would use all of her willpower to keep that from happening... though in the end, it would take hold, just as it always would... for anyone who had such a traumatic past while in puphood... it would be something that would haunt her all of her life.
"Why are you trying to raise these images in front of me? After I told you about them and you saw my previous reaction... why put me through that again? Honestly, I don't know where that change would happen... all I know is that Lucid wasn't always all terrible... there was a time when he was destined to be a great alpha and a great wolf... its my fault that he is the way he is... it has to be... Before I had learned to control my thoughts and hearing others thoughts, I had heard his... and didn't know what to do about them. All I know, is that he wasn't always all terrible... and it is that memory of him that gives me the hope that there is still good in him, just as I know there is good in you." [/b] Her voice grew slightly hysterical as she spoke, not wanting to let the emotions from the past take hold, though the more she spoke, the more the images surfaced and the more she began to lose herself in them. She shook her head, trying to shake the memories from her mind, but their ever-growing tendencies latched to her very soul and drug her down, causing a whimper of pure fear to emit from her soft maw. She began to weep silent tears, bowing her head toward the ground and trying to regain her composure... she didn't want to give in to her fears, but she wasn't sure if she could find the strength to pull out of them. The last time they had surfaced, Baztek had been the one to pull her out of it... but she wondered if he would do it again, or just let her be consumed by them entirely. She began to whimper louder, her breathing picking up and her heart racing, as if she were reliving the horrible day her parents were slaughtered, along with most of the rest of her pack. Shaking her head back and forth, she lifted her maw to the air to emit an eerie and chilling howl of pure fear and agony as her memories took hold.[/blockquote]
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Nov 17, 2009 0:33:05 GMT -5
Why couldn’t she see…see that he was much more terrible than her brother could ever strive to be. Why didn’t she fear him? Did she never notice that the birds never sang in his presence, that fish gave him a wide berth even as he walked the shore? Even the warm breeze of coming spring refused to blow within his presence. Baztek was taken aback by a startling realization: perhaps he was the very reason for the belated summer…he knew his damned heart afflicted many things, but even the weather? …he would not doubt for a second if he was to blame for the absence of the most enjoyable season of all. Why did she not fear him? Couldn’t she tell by now that he lacked the very things, the essence, that even enabled one such as Lucid to change?
He could see playing upon her fear did nothing for him. She wasn’t thinking of the contrast of him, Masina could only see her slaughtered family in her mind’s eye. Baztek growled. He knew if he played her fear further, it would get him no closer to his goal. The dark’s grip within his mind grew as he resorted to another underhanded trick. ”Masina,” his voice was barely a whisper, playing along with this new tactical assault on her emotions. ”Why do you love me?”
Baztek was no longer thinking as himself, the curse from within his heart leaked into his mind, but only because he allowed it to. Baztek was slowly granting slack to his mental guard against his own heart, against the demon. If he could not make her see with reason and logic that it was best for her memories of him to fade, then he would resort to unholy cunning…and wickedness. Together they would make her fear him.
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Nov 24, 2009 0:42:19 GMT -5
Masina attempted to get a grasp on her emotions and the images that swam through her mind, but was at a loss for what to do. Slowly, reality began to slip away, before she heard a distant echo of his voice... Baztek had begun to speak once more... and every fiber of her being, every aspect of her soul, reached out and used that sliver of hope to pull herself out of her waking nightmares. She turned her gaze to his, the shadows of her past lingering ever so slightly on her facial features and her eyes, but she was back in reality, at least for the moment.
Masina watched Baztek, the way he sat and the way he spoke. His words, his voice, no matter how hurtful or questioning, lifeless and lonely they may be, always touched her... It was like some sort of trance or spell that was placed upon her heart.. her very soul, but she could not, would not and did not want to break it. His question, spoken only in a whisper, yet another sudden change in his outward voice, caught her a little by surprise.
She thought for a moment, collecting her thoughts and willing what was left of the horrible imagery to fade from her mind. She gazed into his distant eyes, her answer holding nothing but words that came from her heart. "Why do I love you, Baztek? I honestly cannot say exactly why. Its deeper than my love... its a soul connection that I feel with you, though I cannot explain as to why I feel it. I love you because I'm meant to love you... I know you cannot offer everything that most other wolves would be able to offer, but that doesn't matter... somehow, my soul is connected to you, much deeper than any sense of heart to heart love... Call it fate, call it a deep past connection... call it whatever you want.. all I know is I am meant to be with you... even if you cannot show what you want to show to me, deep inside. I know there is some ounce of something left within you, and it is that little sliver of life that my soul clings to... I know you are capable of feeling something, only because you have stuck by my side, as if you have felt protective of me or felt the need to be there for me... would you have done this for any other wolf? If it were not me, would you have done it for some other wolf you met? Or am I a special exception to this... and that you also feel the connection that we share, beyond any means of normal connections. Don't deny this, don't deny my words, for deep down, I know you know they're true." [/b] Her last bit was more pleading than anything, but she somehow knew that what she was saying felt right to her. Would Baztek have actually held such a promise to any other wolf or even made the promise in the first place? Would he act this way toward any other wolf, aside from Masina herself? She waited patiently, staring into Baztek's eyes, willing her words to sink in and to touch some aspect of him, having him realize how deeply she cared for him. Most of all, she wanted to hold one thing selfish to herself, and that was keeping Baztek by her side... even if it meant in death.[/blockquote]
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Post by ˟ PunkWolf on Nov 24, 2009 1:35:24 GMT -5
He had to end this.
Now.
He walked slowly toward her, fury flaming within his no-longer dead eyes. How dare she. She knew nothing of his past life. How dare she claim to be a part of him, to be special to him. She knew nothing of him. ”You think your so special to me? You think that you are an ‘exception’?” His ragged voice was cruel and mocking, asking questions that he did not even want an answer to. ”You may want to rethink that, Masina. You don’t want to be ‘special’ to me.” His amber eyes slowly adopted a red hue, though the amber stayed with them. His face was no longer blank. Thick brows furrowed in anger while his maw curved into the beginnings of a snarl. ”The only ones who were ever special to me, were slaughtered. Their hearts ripped out, and their blood spilled. And I gave my life for them, my life Masina. And they still lost theirs. And they were special to me. They were the ‘exceptions’. They were my fate, they were connected to my soul, not you!” His hackles rose as his reddened eyes slowly were consumed with utter black emptiness. ”They were meant to love me, not you!” He snapped at her with his last furious words, a terrible feral snarl escaping through his nose. ”…and they were butchered!”
He would end this.
Now.
[/blockquote]
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Post by - [s][w][a][y] - on Nov 24, 2009 1:57:03 GMT -5
Masina watched his eyes change, his entire body language and face change... something she had yet to see come from him. Yes, it scared her.... it scared the hell out of her... but she didn't waver too much, maybe a small flinch at the new bout of whiplash that Baztek was giving her. She took a deep breath as he spoke of his past.. her first glimpses into it, and held back her want to sooth him.
Her voice wavered, but only for a minute, before she caught herself and strengthened her emotional state. "You gave your life, only to start a new one, yes? Perhaps this new life created a new exception. I know the past can be haunting... You of all people have played upon that very fact... but I also know I cannot deny the connection I have with you... and you obviously cannot deny it either... based on your reaction. This is the most emotion you have ever shown, and there is a hint of love to it... the love that one holds for their family. I assume the ones you talk about are your family, yes? Obviously something about that you still cling to, showing me that you do have some ounce or capability of love within the soul you claim to lack. If you had no soul, you would not show any sort of emotion. This leads me to believe that you do not fully understand the soul that you possess. I can try to help you, but you have to let me in. You have to accept what the truth is for what it is and stop living in denial." [/b] She stood slowly, taking a few pawsteps closer to him, so that she was merely inches from his form. She gazed deeply into his eyes as she spoke, grasping for whatever straw she could in order to help him see this new life that he has the opportunity to lead. "The past is the past, you can only look to the future. I may not know a whole lot about you, but I do know that I have a connection with you, and you obviously with me.. otherwise, how would I be able to create such a reaction within you? How would you grow so angry and defensive about this? Obviously you have some sort of feeling within you that tells you we are connected, whether you like it or not."[/b] She gazed at him, willing her words to make a mark and to break into the core of what was creating this emotional outburst from him. She was scared, yes, but she also was courageous, knowing that she had hit some sort of spot in Bazteks soul that showed her he had the capacity to love or to even feel, even if it was only for his past... it was a start.[/blockquote]
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