|
Post by pokeapache on Sept 13, 2008 14:00:30 GMT -5
It was a dark and gloomy day, the rain hadn’t come yet, and probably wouldn’t…It only threatened to in an imposing, terrifying way. It was only a small hope that the clouds would stay with way over night, but it was a hope that was easily likely to end up like that. Walking in the cool breeze, the red wolf found himself not thinking anything at all, just going through the motions of life.
He hadn’t eaten in a long time, and the thinness of him showed just like any other wolf, yet his yellow, sunny paws did not stop to hunt, nor slow from weakness. He didn’t know where he was going, he was just… Just going, he guessed. He felt so suppressed under the darkened sky, so trapped away from everything. It was also quite comforting, most wolves might just stay hidden, incase the rain did start.
A low sound came from his throat quite suddenly, and he nearly choked on it. The sound turned into a melody slowly, and he whined out the hum in sorrow, as he felt his feeling turn from nothingness into his sadness once more. He gritted his teeth to keep from howling, he didn’t want attention, and he didn’t want to sing today. Well, that wasn’t true. He always wanted to sing… He just didn’t want to listen to himself play that song, that melody that was stuck and booming in his head like thunder. His ears flattened on his head and he stopped, his hind thumping to the ground as he sat. Stop… He thought to himself, he commanded. He would not deal with himself today.
His name was Meteor of Sky's Tears. The name suited him well, he was colored rightfully so for a Meteor, and he always was one of sound, like the wind and the thunder in the sky. He also, often, was sad. He often found himself curled in a mess of fur, despising himself. Because he was alone, just like a single, weird Meteor in the sky, with millions of stars around but none for him. He felt quite alone now...
But then a sound pricked his ears. He was suddenly swapped out of his mood, and his senses clicked back to reality, and he became aware of everything. He looked around, his teal eyes observing everything around him with a cool, trained look.
|
|
|
Post by kerrigan on Sept 13, 2008 14:36:34 GMT -5
[/color][/size][/blockquote][/ul]
|
|
|
Post by pokeapache on Sept 13, 2008 14:56:46 GMT -5
Female.
The one scent made his nose burn and his mind whirl into craziness. Had, perhaps, a male approached him, he could gather himself much better, but he felt his heart tug sharply and he tried not to make a sound. His teal eyes settled on the she-wolf reluctantly, and he took in her beauty in a simple, short way.
She had many shades to her fur, bright, light green eyes and markings. Her ears were half folded on themselves- something which stuck him as strange, and even though she was quite pretty in her own way, Meteor forced himself to think of her as nothing more than another wolf, one which could either leave him alone to suffer, or make it worse. He smiled a fake smile to her as she made her soft woof, trying to be friendly.
She had a nice sound to her voice, although it was nothing like his musical one, it had it’s own sense of loveliness that was too hard for him to avoid. He didn’t want to hear her make words, that might make him worse off then he already was.
He dipped his head, looking away casually so as not to act rude or start a fight of some sort- or make himself even worse- the tug came again, and he remembered that he should probably say something instead of just coming off cold or distant. “Hello,” the one word that dared to enter his mind. He wasn’t sure if he could say anything else, but he wasn’t one for conversation. He never was very social, even though he was a pack animal.
His gaze lifted back to hers, and he felt lost for a moment. Why did a wolf come to him on such a depressingly wonderful day that perhaps he might have lost himself into nothingness? As if the Gods hated him, they sent him another female to step on the fractured bits of his heart. She seemed different from him in many ways, and he decided to himself that they wouldn’t get anywhere anyway. It would just be a meeting of two loners. Perhaps a short meeting. That would be ideal for him, he knew, so he would keep it short.
His smile had been lost by now, leaving him lost in his own thoughts, back to the nothingness this day graced him with, the lack of feelings and pain… Although, it was sure to be only a short loss of emotion- with the female there he would soon be brought back to reality. His heart knew this, he just ignored it.
|
|
|
Post by kerrigan on Sept 13, 2008 16:17:02 GMT -5
[/u][/i]. That was it. His voice was a musical as his song seconds before. Slightly dreamy in a way, like an after thought. She set her paw back and faced him, light green eyes watching with curiosity. He remained silent after that. Was that an invitation to talk? Just being polite? An immediate response? Gwen was sliding toward the last two. She dug her green nails into the moss and grass she stood upon. He looked at her again and she gave a slightly hesitant smile, but the brute turned away and Gwen dropped the offer of friendliness. Her ears slid to the side of her head. She'd wanted company and this brute she as hell wasn't going to give it to her. She sighed and shook out her damped coat and stepped forward, padding quietly forward, eyes still wary. She leaned her head down and tilted her head. "Um...Hi?"[/color][/size][/blockquote][/ul]
|
|
|
Post by pokeapache on Sept 13, 2008 16:47:00 GMT -5
If I don’t say anything else, she might leave. If I do, she might stay… Stay… For a longer time… He thought to himself in a barely hopeful way. He looked back to her, she timidly drew in closer. She seemed cautious, her eyes had that guarded look to them. Her head was low, and tilted.
His ear flicked. She spoke. It was an Um and a Hi. But it was words. They tickled his ears, and made them flick again, trying to shake the sound from his head. She wasn’t going to go away, he felt. But she seemed nice. Maybe she was nice. She had that feeling of not having something. He could nearly sense it, but he pushed the idea down as quickly as it came to thought. No, she couldn’t be missing or looking for anything. But… “Who are you?” He asked, feeling just as guarded and protected as her eyes seemed, although he really wanted to just let go and be like he was when he met his first… friend… Happy, playful. Somehow who a female like her might like. But he couldn’t imagine letting himself go like that, he knew what would happen if he acted that stupid. He blinked once, and forced that fake-like smile once more. Maybe if he pretended to let go, even if he didn’t… Maybe that would work. He could always try… But she had already seen his current self, maybe he couldn’t trick her now… Would it be work the risk?
"I'm... I'm Meteor... Meteor of Sky..." He couldn't bring himself to finish his name, but surely that would be good enough for the she-wolf. Surely she would feel better knowing his name. Perhaps... Perhaps...
|
|
|
Post by kerrigan on Sept 13, 2008 18:27:46 GMT -5
[/b] she woofed, voice hushed but still straightforward. She pricked an ear at him, expression filled with easy compassion but no hint of empathy in her gaze. She was good with strangers, but this male was hurting. She intended to find out. Meteor of Sky...He hadn't finished. She slid her paw forward a bit and looked at him, her green eyes soft. Waiting for the rest.[/color][/size][/blockquote][/ul]
|
|
|
Post by pokeapache on Sept 13, 2008 19:05:41 GMT -5
It had started, in infrequent, big drops, each plopping onto his fur and the grass and her fur. He watched her carefully, still protecting himself. He was afraid of everything that came easily to every other wolf. Things that seemed simple were complicated for him. She seemed to do things so easily, her movements seemed less thought out, where as he had to make sure everything he did was okay and alright to do. She came close enough that he began to feel even worse about everything- even though they were about a small wolf length away, he couldn’t help but shift his paws in his own, uneasy way.
”Gwendolyn.” He repeated the word, attempting to sound interested although he refused to be. He attempted to make it sound like he didn’t want the word to be lost, he made it sound like he wanted to make sure he had it right. She stared at him in such a caring way. It made his heart tug at him again, wishing to be followed, wishing he would let go. The voice of reason in his head locked him away from that though.
She wanted something from him. He didn’t know what, but he tried to go with the most logical thing. Had she caught the way he had cut off his words? The way he seemed so broken and hurt? It was hard for him to tell, and now the rain was coming harder and faster. Rain meant that the clouds would leave him soon, and he’d be left under the cruel glare of the moon when night came. He sighed, and closed his eyes for a moment, then looked back up at Gwen, with his blue-green eyes, and tried to make his smile grow a bit.
He brushed his tail to his other side, and looked up to the sky, getting a huge drop on his nose that made him shake his head. He frowned, and said in an attempt to cluelessly change the subject, ”It’s probably not a good idea let yourself get drenched in the rain.”
|
|
|
Post by kerrigan on Sept 13, 2008 21:11:35 GMT -5
[/i]. They hit her coat with a hollow sound like someone hitting a drum. She ignored it. She'd been wet before. She turned her head up to the storm that was crying down upon them. She blinked at the clouds then looked back at the male beside her. His uneasy movement caught her eyes and she shifted over another tail length and settled down again. The soil beneath her paws was wet but she didn't mind. She'd been to long in the wild to worry about muddy paws. She flicked her tail lightly. Gwendolyn. He said her name and she looked at him questioningly, but then she found he'd only said it to remember it. She knew that most wolves forgot names because they enver really heard the other introduce themself. They had been thinking of a responce. He didn't say it right, not like her family hade, but that didn't matter. He wasn't irish and didn't have the lilt it took to make the name rumble. She only had the part of the accent when she had strong emotions, and only a hint. Nothing amazing. He looked back up at her and she cocked her head in a puppyish way. "It’s probably not a good idea let yourself get drenched in the rain." His sudden change of subject had her flicking an ear down and wrinkling her muzzle. It was also a made change of subject. She knew that he was changing the subject, he knew that she knew, and she knew that he knew that she knew. S'all good when you thought of it that way. She shook her head and him, her hair fluffing around her. "Probably. But I've been in storms to long to care," she said with a shrug. A small rumble of tunder caught her attention and she arched both ears forward to listen a minute before the relaxed adn she looked back at the strange wolf. "And you can't say anything about me when you are sitting here too," she pointed out, blinking at the matter-of-fact tone. ooc - Spell checks not working. >>[/color][/size][/blockquote][/ul]
|
|
|
Post by pokeapache on Sept 13, 2008 21:44:57 GMT -5
She shook her head in response to him, her long fur whipping around in a carefree way. He felt so very trapped here, in this conversation, in the rain, in this reality. Her words seemed like that of a loner like all of the others he thought he could meet. Not phased by the weather. Unlike her. She was so shiny and beautiful and every little think would make her jumpy and she needed protecting… I failed her… His mind tore from those dark thoughts, he needed to act normal. Normal enough.
Her second sentence was full of prodding. Yes, he was out in the rain too. He knew that. He was hoping that if she went away, the rain would consume him, and he would become too drenched to live and he could end everything. Meteor was not one to kill himself, he wasn’t so lost in his emotions to end his own life… But whenever the idea of nature or something else came along, he used it as an answer. Obviously, it hadn’t worked yet. He looked away from the she-wolf, his pelt quivering once against the wetness.
”I don’t need to worry about myself. Good idea or not, it… It won’t matter to me.” He nearly felt the need to tell her he was only concerned for her sake, but his defensiveness forced that thought down to. He didn’t have to take care of anyone. No one needed him. He didn’t… He didn’t want to care… He didn’t want to feel for anyone, not for another female… Ever again…
|
|
|
Post by kerrigan on Sept 20, 2008 19:45:40 GMT -5
[/b] she said softly, rising to her paws. She really wanted to go over and press her nose to his shoulder or cheek. Her old pack had always done that to show comfort. But he didn't like her being close. She opened her maw and went to step forward, but then closed her muzzle and set the paw back down again. She blinked at him and twitche dher tial back and forth. [/color][/size][/ul][/blockquote]
|
|
|
Post by pokeapache on Sept 21, 2008 9:32:03 GMT -5
The goal was to make her not feel sorry for him. For her to leave him be. The idea was not to show his true self, the idea was not to have the female come any closer and try to heal his heart. It wouldn’t work, so why bother? She seemed to dare to be curious as to why his answer was so strange- why won’t it matter? Why didn’t it matter? She didn’t know… He had to give her an answer. A lie, maybe, but he couldn’t lie straight out… He was a horrible liar, he could tell from the way she responded to him already.
“… It...It just doesn’t…” He answered, his voice a bit higher, louder, nervous. She wanted to help- but he was doing a great job of making sure she knew he didn’t… The opposite of what he truly wanted… If he was the wolf he should be, he could have been perfect enough in his lying to make he not even notice his worries… But how could anyone hide what they were? His whole being was nothingness and sadness and pain… Surely even a clueless pup could pick up that.
It really didn’t matter… She was staying away from him, so he could stay with her. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want to be rude… He wanted to be nice. He wanted to show her he wasn’t so bad off. Sometimes the nothingness would be there, making him numb to his feelings. It was like happiness to him; although he had lost the joy of that feeling so long ago he couldn’t compare the nothingness to the true happiness. He just knew… It was the better of the two feelings. His heart pulled again, making his whole body flinch. For a moment, he thought her as a way out of his darkness…
But then he remembered she was the cause…But she didn’t mean it… It’s my fault… He could try. He could always try… Try to believe it was his fault… Try to… Try to let someone hang around him. Even if she didn’t find he wasn’t so bad off… Maybe she would find him a lost cause and leave him alone…
Yes. That would be best for him. If she just left him alone… But he already felt like he couldn’t leave her. His ears flicked and he dipped his head in a giving up manner. ”… I’ll go.” He stood up slowly, his pelt dripping uselessly, his stomach nagging at him like it did often. He ignored it. Starving to death wasn’t on his list of ways he didn’t want to die. A lot of wolves starved to death naturally, when there wasn’t enough food. So maybe the prey wasn’t escaping him, but he was escaping the prey, but… What difference did that make? He just hoped his coat would hide his thinness from her. She’d want to help. Females were like that… So kind, so helpful, so motherly…
”I’ll go… Take me there…”
|
|
|
Post by kerrigan on Sept 28, 2008 18:22:03 GMT -5
[/i]. Not a responce at all. She smiled wryly, a slight curl of her jowl and twitched her long tail. His movement had her flicking her gaze back to him and she hid the slight smile as he agreed to go with her. As he rose she noticed his gauntness but looked over it. She was thin too. Way of the loner. And she doubted he'd wish to go hunting now. It was raining and something was eating at him. She shook out her pelt, sending water flying. Even if it just became soaking wet again she couldn't help it. She twitched her ears and then turned to look at him again as he spoke again. So hesitant. She shook her head mentally even as she nodded once physically. She bounded forward, paws squishing into the wet soil and grass. She didn't check if he was behind her. He didn't seem to want her to make sure he was fine. She moved through the trees, fur darkened with water and light green markings making her almost blend in. She spotted the ledge only a few minutes later and darted under it, ignoring the hard splash of water running off the end that hit her back as she passed under it. She paused a second and shook out her fur before trotting up a slight incline. Dry soil stuck to her wet paws as she looked behind her after the soil leveled out. The light was dim in the large, low ceiling'd cave-ish thing. Light darted from the back entrance as well as the front one. It wasn't damp, which was good. She stretched and blinked, wondering if that Meteor fellow had stayed with her. ooc - Sorreh for the wait. [/ul][/size][/blockquote][/color]
|
|
|
Post by pokeapache on Sept 28, 2008 18:23:42 GMT -5
((Don't worry! It's cool ^__^ I can wait <333))
|
|